Why are people nasty?

Before I start writing this out, I should admit that I’ve been incredibly lucky in life to have not come across a great deal of nasty people. Barring a couple of cranky relatives who would stir something up for no real reason, and a group of immature classmates who would make nasty comments on my appearance during my teen years, I was lucky to have not been exposed to real spite – or atleast until now.

Recently I landed my dream job, straight out of college – it felt like divine providence, and with so many other things falling into place on the personal front, I was convinced that God was smiling down at me. A fantastic work atmosphere, wonderful bosses, a lot of work to do and scope to learn – I couldn’t have been happier.

Until one fine evening when it ended abruptly, with no real reason and no chance to explain myself. I drove home in a daze and broke down completely. One part of me was still in disbelief, another part of me so angry that I hadn’t been given a chance to explain myself, and the biggest part of me didn’t really understand what had actually transpired… until I took our my personal journal and recollected a conversation I had had with a colleague a week or 10 days earlier. A conversation perhaps, that led to this situation.

At some level I think it is ridiculous – for her to compete with me, over 5 years junior, with almost no experience – to spread vile and vicious rumours and cause a person to lose a promising career.

This space isn’t meant to be personal diary for me to explain the what’s and how’s of what happened, nor is it the lap of a parent that you can climb onto and cry your heart out, knowing that they would do anything in their power to fix the situation.

There’s a little bit of me that’s craving for a confrontation with the person involved, to ask her why she did this to me – but, I’ve moved on now. I’ve always thought of myself as a very happy person and I refuse to let one bad incident take me down. I still do get a little upset if I think about what happened, and a bad conversation I had with my boss keeps replaying in my mind like a broken recorder. I hate having to explain to people why I switched jobs so early on in my career. But I did the best I could do to fix the situation and I’m glad I took that step.

I’m hoping that with time, the pain turns into a dull unpleasant memory of a harsh experience, and that the people I met, continue to remain friends. I want to take steps towards that, starting now by listing the things that I’m grateful for. So here’s my list πŸ™‚

  • For my parents and sister who believed in me without a doubt – my Amma specially who took the day off to help me sleep and feed me.
  • For my grandparents who convinced me that this was a part of God’s grand plan to give me an even better life πŸ™‚
  • For my friends who believed in me and did not require me to even explain myself… for having heard me out and later provided some welcome distractions.
  • For the new office that I’ve joined, and for the people who readily welcomed me with a job, for making me feel good about myself, when I explained to them what had happened… and for giving me the chance to make the choice when I was offered the old job back.
And on that note, *clink of glasses* – a toast to a long and fruitful career! πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚Β 
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11 thoughts on “Why are people nasty?

  1. “There’s nothing good or bad in this world, but thinking makes it so”. Maybe, it’s not that people are evil by birth, but are just a product of their environment. In your case, maybe the person who affected was too absorbed in his/her own life and interests that nothing else seemed to matter at that moment.

    1. Maybe so. But she had a chance to fix it and still didn’t. And I thought that we were good friends, which is why I don’t really understand what was actually going on in her head. Ah well, I’ll get miserable if I start thinking about it again.. I’m just more careful now and watch my back

      1. Oh. She was obviously very self-centered. There are people like that who only care about their interests irrespective of the situation, never accept their mistakes, etc. I think it’s important to not look at this event as a betrayal, but instead as a learning experience for someone as young as yourself. There would be many people like that wherever you go. And there would be nothing you can do about it. They would have chances to fix things, but you shouldn’t expect them to. It’s always good to be careful and watch your back. I can understand (though not entirely) how you would feel about that person, but instead of letting her pollute your mood with the memories of her actions, think of it as an experience that made you more mature and aware. I can’t deny that I think it was a very harsh lesson for you, but things weren’t all bad because you had support from your family and hey, you landed a job right after that. I think it’s quite an achievement! πŸ™‚ All the best for the future!

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