Before I start writing this out, I should admit that I’ve been incredibly lucky in life to have not come across a great deal of nasty people. Barring a couple of cranky relatives who would stir something up for no real reason, and a group of immature classmates who would make nasty comments on my appearance during my teen years, I was lucky to have not been exposed to real spite – or atleast until now.
Recently I landed my dream job, straight out of college – it felt like divine providence, and with so many other things falling into place on the personal front, I was convinced that God was smiling down at me. A fantastic work atmosphere, wonderful bosses, a lot of work to do and scope to learn – I couldn’t have been happier.
Until one fine evening when it ended abruptly, with no real reason and no chance to explain myself. I drove home in a daze and broke down completely. One part of me was still in disbelief, another part of me so angry that I hadn’t been given a chance to explain myself, and the biggest part of me didn’t really understand what had actually transpired… until I took our my personal journal and recollected a conversation I had had with a colleague a week or 10 days earlier. A conversation perhaps, that led to this situation.
At some level I think it is ridiculous – for her to compete with me, over 5 years junior, with almost no experience – to spread vile and vicious rumours and cause a person to lose a promising career.
This space isn’t meant to be personal diary for me to explain the what’s and how’s of what happened, nor is it the lap of a parent that you can climb onto and cry your heart out, knowing that they would do anything in their power to fix the situation.
There’s a little bit of me that’s craving for a confrontation with the person involved, to ask her why she did this to me – but, I’ve moved on now. I’ve always thought of myself as a very happy person and I refuse to let one bad incident take me down. I still do get a little upset if I think about what happened, and a bad conversation I had with my boss keeps replaying in my mind like a broken recorder. I hate having to explain to people why I switched jobs so early on in my career. But I did the best I could do to fix the situation and I’m glad I took that step.
I’m hoping that with time, the pain turns into a dull unpleasant memory of a harsh experience, and that the people I met, continue to remain friends. I want to take steps towards that, starting now by listing the things that I’m grateful for. So here’s my list 🙂
- For my parents and sister who believed in me without a doubt – my Amma specially who took the day off to help me sleep and feed me.
- For my grandparents who convinced me that this was a part of God’s grand plan to give me an even better life 🙂
- For my friends who believed in me and did not require me to even explain myself… for having heard me out and later provided some welcome distractions.
- For the new office that I’ve joined, and for the people who readily welcomed me with a job, for making me feel good about myself, when I explained to them what had happened… and for giving me the chance to make the choice when I was offered the old job back.