Of friends who are family

Growing up, one of the most important things that I learnt from my Appa and Thatha was that friendships are important. Even today, Appa frequently expresses this and tells me how important it is that I should maintain old friendships and develop new ones.

Both my grandfathers were extroverted men who had Β a big circle of close friends. Over the years, and as these relationships grew, some of these friends became family. My grandparents friends are my thathas and pattis. Appa has a close circle of friends whom I know I can count on anytime. During my childhood years, I remember that my thatha and patti were referred to as ‘Anna‘ and ‘Manni‘ by so many people. I had so many ‘mamas‘, ‘athais‘ and cousins, I thought I was related to almost the whole city! When I grew older, I realized that all of them were not related to me by blood, but perhaps by something that was deeper and stronger.

The most special of these relationships have lasted generations. I visited the granddaughter of my thatha’s best friend a few weeks ago, and felt so much at home with her and her family. In my head and heart, I consider her an elder sister and I love her babies as much as I would love my own sister’s children.

I know a lot of people who believe family is everything – I used to think so too, but now something has changed.

I had a conversation last night with a cousin – a girl I loved and spent my entire childhood with. We spoke for 30 minutes, but I came away from that conversation with a bittersweet feeling in my throat. I felt like I had had a superficial ‘let’s catch up conversation’ with a girl I vaguely knew. I still love her, but the truth (and I should admit this to myself) is that I love the memory of our growing-up years together, and the relationship that we used to share, more than our relationship now. It has taken me time, introspection and a lot of tears to come to this place and be happy with this. Today, I realize I have so many happy memories with her…even if we don’t regain our relationship, I will always have a cherished memory to love and remember.

I think about my own life and my friends – the ones I count as family. I have a Β bunch of wonderful girlfriends whom I’ve known since I was a toddler. I look forward to loving their babies as my own nieces and nephews, and I wish our children would grow up to be good friends. I have a mixed bunch of college friends – we may not talk everyday, but I know that I can call them at anytime of the day or night, and they would be there for me.

I look forward and face the future with the hope that I would welcome more such beautiful relationships into my life. And I promise myself that I would teach my children the priceless value of friendship – just as my Appa taught me.


10 thoughts on “Of friends who are family

  1. So true, I too have close friends that I feel closer to than some family members. I remember my mother’s best friends being my “aunts” and “uncles” and they were there for the biggest moments of my life just as family should be. Great post!

  2. i loved this post. i have a few friends here who are pretty much like family to me. and it’s a wonderful feeling to have such close bonds that go beyond that mere hi-hello sort of relationships.

  3. What a delightful post! My parents didn’t have too many friends we are still in touch with but I am a doting aunt for a lot of my nieces and nephews through friends. It feels so lovely πŸ˜€

    1. Hi Zarine! Yes I have a bunch of whatsapp group with my cousins and other members of the family – it definitely helps reduce the distance! Thank God for technology πŸ™‚ Thank you for dropping by – hope to see you around :))

  4. I think it all depends how close you are to cousins etc, I have some beautiful friends who are LIFE line .. but then I also have a few cousins who are a Life Line.. when i was growing up we lived in a city while the rest lived in a village , so the kids came over to our house to study in city..

    so we became veyr very close ..

    also it is how we are, I am best MAMU or CHACHU to my nieces and nephews , we constantly talk to each other , it has become easier now via internet and whatsapp etc etc πŸ™‚

    I must say HELLOOOOOOOOOOOO here and see if you remember me πŸ™‚ do you ..


    1. Haha hi Bikram! Of course I do! Haven’t seen you here in a while – welcome back! πŸ™‚ I should hop by your blog sometime. And yes, I definitely agree with you – I have cousins who I am extremely close to and who I talk to on a daily basis. I guess we’re also fortunate to have friends who are practically family too! πŸ™‚

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